The most loving thing Catholics can do for someone who has died is to have a Mass offered for the repose of their soul. To do it, ask a parish office or a religious community to offer a Mass “for the repose of the soul of [Name],” give the customary offering, and, if you like, ask for a Mass card to give to the family. This page gives you the wording, the best times to request a Mass, the customs around Mass cards, and what to do for someone who died long ago.
Why a Mass for the dead?
The Church teaches that “from the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God” (CCC 1032). The Mass makes present Christ’s one sacrifice on the Cross, which is offered “for the faithful departed who have died in Christ but are not yet wholly purified” (CCC 1371). No prayer we can offer is greater.
Wording examples
- For the repose of the soul of Thomas Brennan.
- For the eternal rest of Maria Lopez.
- For the soul of Joseph Nguyen, on the first anniversary of his death.
- For the repose of the soul of Grace Okafor (requested by the parish choir).
- For the repose of the souls of Michael and Anne Byrne, our parents.
- For the deceased members of the Kowalski and Novak families.
- For Peter Russo, on what would have been his 70th birthday.
- For Baby Lucia Romero, entrusted to the mercy of God.
- For the repose of the soul of Fr. James Walsh, priest.
- For all the faithful departed of our parish who died this year.
- For the souls in purgatory who have no one to pray for them.
More general examples are on Mass intention examples.
When to have a Mass said for the dead
There is no wrong time, but these dates are traditional:
- The funeral Mass. The funeral itself is offered for the deceased.
- The seventh day after death, a custom in many countries (the Portuguese and Brazilian missa de sétimo dia).
- The thirtieth day, often called the Month’s Mind Mass in Ireland and Britain.
- The anniversary of death each year. For the petitions at an anniversary Mass, see Prayers of the Faithful for a death anniversary.
- The person’s birthday, name day or wedding anniversary.
- All Souls Day (November 2) and throughout November, the month of the Holy Souls (All Souls Day).
- Any time you think of them. A Mass offered years later is never too late.
Gregorian Masses
Gregorian Masses are thirty Masses offered on thirty consecutive days for one deceased person. The custom comes from Pope St. Gregory the Great (died 604), who in his Dialogues (Book IV) tells how thirty Masses were offered on successive days for a monk of his monastery. Because the Masses must be continuous and are offered for one person only, they are usually arranged through religious communities that can guarantee them. The Church has long regarded the faithful’s confidence in this practice as pious and reasonable, while no particular result is promised.
Mass cards: customs and etiquette
A Mass card tells a grieving family that a Mass will be offered for their loved one. In Catholic communities it is one of the most meaningful sympathy gifts.
- Where to get one: your parish office, or a religious community that offers Mass cards. The card is usually signed by a priest or stamped by the parish, confirming that the Mass will be offered.
- What to write: “A Mass will be offered for the repose of the soul of [Name], with the sympathy of [your name].” Add a short personal line if you wish.
- When to give it: at the wake or funeral, by post, or later. Families are often especially grateful for one around the first anniversary.
- Can you send one to a non-Catholic family? Yes, with a short explanation: “I have asked for a Mass to be offered for your father. It is the most precious prayer Catholics can offer.”
- Enrollment cards (spiritual enrollments or perpetual remembrance) are different: they enroll the person in the prayers or Masses of a religious community rather than a specific Mass.
Full details are on Mass cards.
What to say when you request the Mass
Hello, I would like to request a Mass for the repose of the soul of Thomas Brennan, who died on March 3, 2026. If possible, I would like it on or near March 3, 2027, the first anniversary. Could you also prepare a Mass card for his family? The request is from Anne Brennan. Please let me know the offering and the date. Thank you.
Frequently asked questions
How much is a Mass offering for the dead?
The same as any Mass offering: the amount set by your diocese, commonly about $10 to $20 in the United States. No one should be refused for being unable to pay. See how offerings work.
Can I have a Mass said for someone who was not Catholic?
Yes. Canon law allows a priest to apply the Mass “for anyone, living or dead” (canon 901).
Can I have a Mass said for someone who died by suicide?
Yes. The Church prays for those who have taken their own lives and entrusts them to God’s mercy (CCC 2283).
Can I have a Mass said for a baby who died before birth?
You can ask the parish for a Mass for the family and for the child, entrusted to God’s mercy. Many parishes are glad to do this and to help grieving parents.
Do I need to tell the family?
It is not required, but a note or Mass card lets them know they are not alone and that their loved one is being prayed for.
Should I attend the Mass?
If you can. Receiving Communion and praying for the person at that Mass joins your own prayer to the offering.
Related pages
- Catholic prayers for the dead
- Eternal Rest prayer
- Prayers for the souls in purgatory
- Prayers of the Faithful for a Catholic funeral
More prayers
Sources
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1032, 1371 and 2283
- Code of Canon Law, canons 901 and 945–958
- St. Gregory the Great, Dialogues, Book IV