“A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found him, hath found a treasure,” says the Book of Ecclesiasticus. When a friend dies, you lose a treasure, and the Catholic faith invites you to keep that friendship alive by praying for your friend’s soul and by trusting that, in Christ, love is stronger than death. Below are prayers for a deceased friend, prayers for the funeral and the anniversary, prayers for comfort in grief, and the words of Scripture and of saints who mourned their own friends.
A short prayer for my friend, written for this page:
Lord Jesus, you called your disciples your friends, and you wept for your friend Lazarus.
Have mercy on my friend, (name). Forgive his (her) sins, thank you for our friendship,
and bring him (her) into the joy of your presence. Eternal rest grant unto him (her), O Lord. Amen.
A traditional prayer for a deceased friend
The Church’s prayer for “brethren, relations and benefactors,” which can be prayed for a friend, from a Catholic prayer book of 1883:
O God, the giver of pardon, and lover of the salvation of mankind, we beseech thy clemency in behalf of our brethren, relations, and benefactors, who have departed this life; that the blessed Mary ever Virgin and all thy saints interceding for them, they may come to the fellowship of eternal happiness: through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Prayer for a friend who has died
Written for this page.
Lord, (name) was my friend. We shared (our school years, our work, our faith, our troubles and our joys).
I thank you for the gift of this friendship, and I give my friend back to you.
Purify my friend of every sin and bring him (her) home. Amen.
Prayer for the funeral
Lord, today we say goodbye to our friend.
Comfort his (her) family, unite all who loved him (her),
and give us the faith to hope that we will meet again in your kingdom. Amen.
Prayer on the anniversary
Lord, a year ago (or: on this day) my friend (name) died.
I still miss him (her). Keep my friend in your peace, and help me to honor our friendship by being a good friend to others. Amen.
Scripture on friendship and death
Ecclesiasticus 6:14–16 (Douay-Rheims):
A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found him, hath found a treasure.
Nothing can be compared to a faithful friend, and no weight of gold and silver is able to countervail the goodness of his fidelity.
A faithful friend is the medicine of life and immortality: and they that fear the Lord, shall find him.
Jesus said (John 15:13, Douay-Rheims):
Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
King David’s lament for his friend Jonathan (2 Kings 1:26, Douay-Rheims):
I grieve for thee, my brother Jonathan: exceeding beautiful, and amiable to me above the love of women. As the mother loveth her only son, so did I love thee.
Saints who mourned their friends
St. Augustine, in his Confessions, described his despair at the death of a close friend in his youth, when “whatever I beheld was death,” and how he later learned to love his friends in God, who is never lost. St. Gregory Nazianzen wrote a moving tribute to his friend St. Basil the Great, with whom he had shared “one soul in two bodies.” See Sts. Basil and Gregory and the patron saint of friendship.
Frequently asked questions
What is a good prayer for a deceased friend?
Any prayer that commends your friend to God’s mercy, such as the traditional prayer above, followed by “Eternal rest grant unto him (her), O Lord.” You can also have a Mass offered for your friend.
Can I have a Mass said for a friend who was not Catholic?
Yes. A Mass may be offered for any person who has died.
What can I write to the family of a friend who died?
Share a memory of your friend and assure them of your prayers, for example: “I will always remember (name)’s kindness. I am praying for him (her) and for all of you.”
More prayers
- Prayers for deceased loved ones
- Prayer for a deceased brother or sister
- Catholic prayers for the dead
- Patron saint of grief
- Mass intentions for the dead
- Eternal rest prayer
Texts and sources
- Patrick F. Moran, The Catholic Prayer Book and Manual of Meditations (1883), Prayers for the Dead, public domain (Wikisource).
- Ecclesiasticus 6:14–16; John 15:13; 2 Kings 1:26 (Douay-Rheims).