Catholic Eulogy: Rules, How to Write One, and Examples

At a Catholic funeral, the family can share memories of their loved one, but in a particular way and at a particular time. The Church’s Order of Christian Funerals asks that the homily at the Funeral Mass be a reflection on God’s Word and never a eulogy, and it allows a family member or friend to speak brief “words of remembrance” near the end of the Mass. Many families also share longer tributes at the vigil (wake) or the reception. Below is where a eulogy fits, how long it should be, how to write one that honors both your loved one and your faith, a simple outline, and short examples.

Where a eulogy fits at a Catholic funeral

The vigil (wake): the most natural place for longer remembrances, stories and several speakers.
The Funeral Mass: the homily is given by the priest or deacon on the Scripture readings; “there is never to be a eulogy” in place of the homily (Order of Christian Funerals, 27). After the prayer after Communion and before the Final Commendation, a member or a friend of the family may speak briefly in remembrance of the deceased (OCF 170).
The cemetery or the reception: many families share the fuller tribute, photos and stories here.

Diocesan and parish rules differ: some allow one speaker for about three to five minutes, some ask that words of remembrance be given at the vigil instead, and many ask to see the text in advance. Always ask the priest or the parish funeral coordinator. See the order of the Catholic funeral Mass.

How long should a Catholic eulogy be?

At the Funeral Mass, three to five minutes (about 400 to 600 words), and one speaker. At the vigil or reception there is more room, but brevity is still a gift to grieving people.

How to write words of remembrance

Pray first. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you speak with love and truth.
Choose two or three qualities that defined your loved one (generous, funny, faithful, hardworking) and one short story for each.
Show their faith, if they had it: a habit of prayer, Sunday Mass, a favorite saint or Rosary, a way they served others.
Speak to the people present, especially the family, with gratitude.
End with hope: the resurrection, a word of farewell, a short prayer.
Write it out and read it. Grief makes improvising hard. Practice aloud once or twice.

A simple outline

Opening (30 seconds): who you are and your relationship: “I’m Anna, Joe’s eldest granddaughter.”
Who they were (2–3 minutes): two or three qualities, each with a brief story.
Their faith and what they taught us (1 minute).
Thanks (30 seconds): to caregivers, the parish, those who came.
Hope and farewell (30 seconds): “We will miss you, and we commend you to the God who loved you first. Rest in peace.”

Short examples

Written for this page; adapt freely.

For a mother:

My mother taught us to pray before we could read. Every night she sat on the edge of our beds and made the sign of the cross on our foreheads. She worked long hours and never complained, and somehow there was always room at her table for one more. In her last months, when she could do almost nothing, she still prayed her Rosary for each of us by name. Mom, thank you for giving us life and faith. We entrust you to the mercy of God, and we look forward to the day when we will be together again.

For a father:

Dad was a man of few words and many good deeds. He fixed every neighbor’s car on our street and never took a dollar for it. He was at Mass every Sunday, in the same pew, ten minutes early. He taught us that a man keeps his word and that you never let a friend down. Dad, you showed us what faithfulness looks like. Rest now in the peace of Christ.

For a grandparent:

Grandpa had a story for everything and a joke for everyone. But what I remember most is how he loved Grandma for sixty-one years, and how he never missed a chance to tell us he was proud of us. Thank you, Grandpa. May the angels lead you into paradise.

What to avoid at the Funeral Mass

Long speeches, multiple speakers or a slideshow during the Mass (save them for the vigil or reception).
Inside jokes that most people will not understand, or anything that could embarrass the family.
Saying that the person “is now an angel” or is certainly in heaven: Catholics pray for the dead, entrusting them to God’s mercy.
Reading a secular poem in place of the Scripture readings.

Scripture and prayers to quote

Jesus said to her: I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, although he be dead, shall live:
And every one that liveth, and believeth in me, shall not die for ever. Believest thou this?

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and the torment of death shall not touch them.
In the sight of the unwise they seemed to die: and their departure was taken for misery:
And their going away from us, for utter destruction: but they are in peace.

Eternal rest grant unto him (her), O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him (her).
May he (she) rest in peace. Amen.

Frequently asked questions

Are eulogies allowed at Catholic funerals?

A eulogy may not replace the homily, but brief words of remembrance by a family member or friend are permitted before the Final Commendation, where the parish allows it. Longer eulogies are best given at the vigil or reception.

Who gives the eulogy at a Catholic funeral?

Usually one family member or close friend, chosen by the family and agreed with the priest.

Can I mention faith in a eulogy?

Yes, and it is fitting to do so: speak of how your loved one lived the faith, and end with Christian hope.

More funeral resources

Sources

Order of Christian Funerals (1989), nos. 27 and 170.
Scripture: John 11:25–26; Wisdom 3:1–3, Douay-Rheims Bible (Challoner), public domain.
The outline and examples were written for this page.