How to Go to Confession: A Step-by-Step Catholic Guide (with What to Say)

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Going to confession is simpler than most people fear. You prepare by examining your conscience, you tell your sins to a priest, you pray an Act of Contrition, and the priest gives you absolution in the name of Christ. The whole thing often takes less than five minutes, and you leave with your sins forgiven and a fresh start.

This guide walks you through each step, tells you exactly what to say, and answers the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask. If it has been many years, you are especially welcome: priests are glad to help, and you can simply tell the priest, “It’s been a long time; please help me.”

Confession in 7 steps (quick version)

  1. Examine your conscience before you go.
  2. Enter the confessional (behind the screen or face to face) and make the Sign of the Cross.
  3. Say: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [time] since my last confession.”
  4. Confess your sins: what you did and, for serious sins, about how many times.
  5. Listen to the priest’s advice and the penance he gives you.
  6. Pray an Act of Contrition.
  7. Receive absolution, thank the priest, and go do your penance.

Step 1: Examine your conscience

Before you go, spend ten or fifteen minutes in quiet asking the Holy Spirit to show you your sins since your last confession. Walking through the Ten Commandments is the traditional way to do this. Our guides make it easy:

You must confess every mortal sin you remember, in kind and approximate number (Catechism 1456). Confessing venial sins is not strictly required, but the Church strongly recommends it, because it helps us grow (Catechism 1458). Not sure of the difference? Read mortal and venial sin.

It is fine to write your sins on a piece of paper and read from it. Just destroy the paper afterward.

Step 2: Go to confession

Most parishes hear confessions on Saturday afternoon or before weekend Masses; check the bulletin or the parish website. You can also call the parish office and ask for an appointment. You may go to any Catholic priest; it does not have to be your own parish.

When it is your turn, you can usually choose to kneel behind the screen (anonymously) or sit face to face with the priest. Both are equally valid.

Step 3: Begin

The priest may greet you or say a short blessing. Make the Sign of the Cross and say:

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It has been (two weeks, six months, ten years) since my last confession.

If you like, mention your state of life (“I’m a married mother of three,” “I’m a student”). It helps the priest give useful advice. If you don’t remember when you last went, just say so.

Step 4: Confess your sins

Tell your sins simply and honestly. Name the sin and, for serious sins, how often:

I lied to my parents several times.
I missed Mass on Sunday twice without a good reason.
I was impatient and unkind to my children.
I looked at pornography about five times.

You do not need to tell long stories or explain why; the priest will ask if he needs to know more. When you have finished, say:

For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.

If you forget a sin, don’t worry: it is forgiven with the others, as long as you didn’t hold it back on purpose. Mention it at your next confession.

Step 5: Listen to the advice and receive your penance

The priest may offer a few words of encouragement or advice, and he will give you a penance: usually some prayers, a reading from Scripture, or an act of kindness. The penance helps repair the harm sin causes and helps you grow (Catechism 1459). If you don’t understand the penance or can’t do it, say so; he will change it.

Step 6: Pray the Act of Contrition

The priest will ask you to express your sorrow. Pray an Act of Contrition from memory or read it from a card. This is the traditional form found in Catholic catechisms:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

Any sincere prayer of sorrow is acceptable. See the Act of Contrition for shorter versions and one for children.

Step 7: Receive absolution

The priest extends his hand over you and prays the words of absolution, ending with: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Make the Sign of the Cross and answer “Amen.” The full formula is in the Catechism, 1449.

The priest may dismiss you with “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,” and you can answer, “His mercy endures for ever.” Or simply say, “Thank you, Father.”

After confession

  • Do your penance as soon as you can, before you forget.
  • Thank God. Spend a moment in the church in gratitude.
  • Receive Holy Communion at your next Mass. Confession restores the state of grace needed to receive the Eucharist worthily if you had committed a mortal sin (Catechism 1415).
  • Make a resolution. Choose one practical change and ask God’s help to keep it.

The effect of confession is reconciliation with God and with the Church, and “peace and serenity of conscience with strong spiritual consolation” (Catechism 1468).

If you are nervous or it has been years

  • Tell the priest. Say, “Father, it has been many years, and I’m nervous.” He will guide you step by step.
  • You cannot shock him. Priests have heard everything. What they see is a person coming home.
  • He can never tell anyone. The seal of confession is absolute: a priest may never reveal what he hears, under very severe penalties (Catechism 1467).
  • Go behind the screen if you prefer anonymity.
  • Pray first. Ask the Holy Spirit for courage and honesty. The parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32) is a good preparation: the father runs to meet his son before he has finished his apology.

How often should Catholics go to confession?

The Church requires every Catholic who has reached the age of reason to confess serious sins at least once a year (Catechism 1457), and before receiving Communion if they are aware of mortal sin. Many saints recommend going once a month. Regular confession, even of venial sins, helps us fight bad habits, form our conscience and grow in grace.

Good times to go include before Christmas and Easter, before a wedding or confirmation, and during Lent.

Frequently asked questions

What do I say at the beginning of confession?

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [time] since my last confession.” Then confess your sins.

What if I forget the Act of Contrition?

Read it from a card or your phone, or say in your own words: “My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. Help me to do better.” The priest can also help you.

Can I go to confession online or by phone?

No. The sacrament requires the penitent and the priest to be physically present. Confession apps can help you prepare, but they are not confession.

What if I forgot a mortal sin?

It was forgiven along with the others if you forgot it honestly. Confess it at your next confession.

Can a non-Catholic go to confession?

The sacrament is for baptized Catholics. Anyone may speak with a priest, and a non-Catholic who wishes to become Catholic can ask about OCIA (the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults) at their parish.

Is it a sin to receive Communion without going to confession?

Receiving Communion while aware of an unconfessed mortal sin is itself seriously wrong. Venial sins are forgiven by the Eucharist itself and by sincere prayer, though confession is recommended.

More about confession and prayer

Texts and sources